Let me start this off with a disclaimer. I love my children and I am still happy that I decided to have a large family, I wouldn't want my life to be any other way. With that out of the way, on to the reason for this post : )
I am so tired! I mean physically and emotionally wiped out. As for the physical part, my allergies have been horrible for the last 3 weeks. My body is so strange, I had years of terrible allergies and then nothing. Every once in a while I would have a day of sneezing and watery eyes, but nothing to really bother me. I have been great for at least 12 or 13 years! Well, now they are back with a vengeance. I have to take Claritin everyday and even that doesn't stop the sneezing completely. Anytime I have to clean anything I start sneezing and can't stop. I can't mess in my garden and even my sewing machine can start it because my cat, Zsa Zsa, loves to nap right in front of it. I am always tired and very grouchy. I keep hoping and praying that it will eventually stop. That it is just something in the air right now, and once it is gone, I will feel better.
The emotional exhaustion is because of my children. Lately, they fight constantly!!! I mean, from the minute they wake up to the time they go to sleep, at least two of them are arguing about something! Usually something VERY stupid! I just listened to an argument between Isabella and Savannah over the fact that Bella missed a crumb on the kitchen floor when she swept. Savannah just HAD to point this out, and of course Bella had to tell her how stupid it was to say anything and on and on and on. Seriously, this fight lasted for a good 5 minutes! I know it is partly because they are with each other all of the time and partly because this is what siblings do, but for some reason I just can't stand it anymore! I think I might start homeschooling before I planned on it, just to give them something to do besides fight. This has always been a very difficult part of parenting for me. I grew up in a very quiet family that never fought, at least rarely. I only have one brother and while we would have arguments they were few and far between. Definitely not everyday. Dh and I rarely argue, so they aren't seeing this modeled for them. And they get along great with other people besides their brothers and sisters, so I am assuming this is just part of having a large family. Lots of kids=lots of different personalities to get on each others' nerves. I keep thinking if I mothered them properly they wouldn't do this, but nothing I do makes them stop completely. The last few days, I have been pretty much just trying to ignore it because I want to just scream with them. I truly love almost every aspect of parenting, even a newborn waking up in the night is doable because you know it will eventually end and waking up with a sweet newborn isn't so bad anyway. I feel like this is never going to end and they are big and stinky, not cute and cuddly lol
And Samuel has started screaming everything instead of talking in a normal tone of voice. I guess he is just mimicking what he hears. I have been disciplining him for this, but I have to be very consistent or he starts doing it again. I just had to stop writing this post to deal with him. My lack of sewing time lately doesn't help either. Sewing and creativity is my outlet, when I don't get it, I have a harder time coping with daily stress.
Anyway, sorry this post is such a downer, but it feels good to talk about it. And dh is tired of hearing it, so y'all have to LOL : D Being a mother is such a huge job, sometimes I can feel very overwhelmed. I just remind myself that the joy it brings me far outweighs the hard times, even if it is hard to see that at this moment : )
- South Louisiana
- I have been married for 20 years to a great husband and we have 8 children ranging in age from 1 to 18 years. I am a homeschooling mom, which can be very challenging. I love sewing, knitting, reading, gardening and have recently started oil painting. I love to create. I really want to have a blog to show off some of the stuff I create, but I also want to share about my life and family. email me at firstname.lastname@example.org